STRESS It can hinder us in our daily lives and seems to amplify x 100 when you are going through the adoption process. I am speaking from experience when I say that you should try your best not to obsess over what COULD happen. The reason is there is always going to be something that comes up in adoption and it will usually not be the thing you stressed over. I am living proof that this type of worrying doesn't do anyone any good. And is the worrying going to prevent things from happening?

Adoption is not for the faint of heart.  If you do not handle stress well you will probably not handle all the curve balls that adoption can sometimes throw at you. One of the important things is to know ALL RISKS that are associated with adoption. You should weigh these risks before you move forward. If you decide to adopt and accept the possibility that things can go wrong with your adoption journey you should be prepared with a back-up plan. Once you have the plan in place try to put the risks in a corner of your mind and try not to obsess over what COULD happen.

The main thing is to try to remain calm. I know this is hard to do. I struggled with this because I would let my mind wonder and would try to keep my thoughts positive but they would often be bombarded by people telling me their personal adoption failure stories, or things they read, heard or what a friend experienced. I loved when the media had specials on all the things I was trying my best to avoid thinking about. Magazines and talk shows all seemed to theme everything around "adoption horror stories". It is hard to stay away from. But do the best you can to keep yourself positive. Positive thoughts and positive outlooks will help you get through this stressful time. Surround yourself with positive people and focus on the end goal.

Start a journal. Try putting all those feelings and emotions into words. I often look back on mine and remember how much I went through to get my daughters. It is always good to have that reminder. I call it "my labor". Because I didn't go through the pain of giving birth but I did go through the pain and heartache the led me down the road to adoption. I went through all the fears and hopes leading up to the day our adoption finalized. So having this is not just therapeutic but it gives you something to look back on. You can feel the feeling of relief that you survived one of the toughest processes ever. And you have a beautiful baby because of it.

Another thing to do is find a hobby that you can pour all your attention into. I focused mine on starting a scrapbook on our daughters expectant mom and siblings. I wanted something to be able to share with her when she was older. I got permission from her expectant mother of course. She gave me some photos and we took some pictures when we visited with her. I added the ultrasound photo she gave to us. And I had written about the excitement I had for her arrival. I included pictures her biological sister colored for her. And a letter she wrote to my husband and I.

I also focused on fixing my house up, getting everything baby proofed and having the nursery set up. We were in hyper-drive. Anything I could think to do to occupy my thoughts I poured myself into. I got a lot accomplished! And my home was ready for the arrival of our new little bundle.

Exercise, I know we hear this all the time. It does work though! I can definitely tell when I haven't had my work out. It keeps me focused and it keeps my stress down. When you are going through an adoption you should try to expend some of that pent up stress by taking a long walk, bike ride, running on a tread mill or working out on an elliptical. I found this therapeutic and it's good for you!

Giving yourself some down time. I remember floating on a raft in my pool looking up at the clouds. I prayed a lot and asked God to see us through this stressful time. I found it peaceful and it always made me feel better. Reading a good book, taking a bubble bath, getting a massage, or even just taking time out to just relax and unwind with a good movie. These are things that always helped me keep my mind from going to back to the stressful place.

My faith is a huge stress reduction for me. Have you ever heard the phrase let go and let God? It's so true. Only God knows the true path we are meant to take and what's at the end of it. Try not to obsess over the things you can't control and try to focus on the things you can. Give all those things that you cannot navigate over to God. If you do this he will lead you. I have gained so much faith from my experience in adoption. I found that I should never question again when I feel stressed. It is because God is telling me I need to change direction or work on the way I am currently handling something. Just listen and he will provide the answers.